Saturday, February 4, 2012

I don't have any fancy titles, degrees or letters after my name. I am a mother who lost her daughter on February 10, 2011. I am grieving and taking my journey through grief. That qualifies me to blog on this subject. Lately, I am feeling like an expert on the subject of grief-the pain, excruciating, blinding at times, makes me want to cry, vomit, scream, moan, talk, laugh hysterically and shut my eyes and remember her detail by detail. Most of all, I have learned to Pray-constantly. Sometimes, it is only one word, but God gets it. He cries with me sometimes. I know it, because I feel His warm and ever so gentle essence in the midst of my cold and lonely world when I want nothing more than to touch her or kiss her again. You might be asking me, how old was yur daughter? Young? My daughter was 34 years young, an adult to most-but always my baby. You see, it doesn't matter how old or young our children are when they are taken back to Heaven, I don't think we are ever ready to give them back. Please, take a moment to hug your babies if they are close enough-or tell them with a verbal 'hug' if they aren't, just how much they mean to you-not generically either-oh, honey-you mean the world to me....why? Tell-them-why! Is it because they make you laugh? Is it because they brought you lunch when you weren't expecting it? Is it because they are always thinking of you and calling you out of the blue? It doesn't matter why-but it will matter to them-that you share it with them-I promise. Tell them, don't wait. We'll talk again soon. Please share your ideas and thoughts with me. There are so many bumps in this road-this journey takes a lot of twists and turns, I need all the friends along the way I can find.

2 comments:

  1. My thoughts and prayers are with you always, and I do believe in telling my children and grandchildren how much I love them as much and often as I can..I have a rule/promise between my kid's and I, no matter what is going on or how big of a hurry we are in or even if we are mad at each other we Always say I Love You before we hang up the phone! Love you so very much Aunt Rosie, and I think of Shanny often...

    ReplyDelete
  2. Aunt Ran, I wish, after 360 days I would have some words of wisdom. In reality, all I know is that I have no idea how you feel, or how it would feel if I lost one of my little babies. I pray for you, TT, and Kim constantly. I pray that you find the answers or the comfort to help you all through this. I pray for Jason and the kids, that they always remember the bright light, and ball of energy that Shanny was. Shanny was a pretty special lady, and not just to those of us that were lucky enough to call her family. We all miss her, but I know that you have had a tougher road to navigate. Hold onto your faith, hold onto the ones that are here for support. I can not say if it will get easier, but I pray for that all the time. We all love you Aunt Ran, hang in there. You are stronger than I could ever imagine myself being.

    ReplyDelete