Wednesday, August 1, 2012

I Hope You Can Come

Shanny,
Today your sister is getting capped..that's a term used in nursing. She has kept her promise to you (and herself) to finish school-she chose nursing school and she is doing great! It's not easy but it's worth it..

Anyway, today at 2:00 pm she will be presented with a nursing 'cap' by her Aunt Geri. Only another nurse can actually do the capping. Isn't that a wonderful honor? I so wish you were here to see her. She always
looked up to you. I don't think she realized how much she admired you until you weren't here to go to, or ask questions, or even argue with sometimes..

We actually have study shifts with Lulu so she can study at night for tests. It is a family affair and we are all the better for it. Another lesson, you have managed to teach us, sweetie. You have always been the wise one. Sometimes, I thought you were too big for your britches, I know..a little too mouthy but now I know you only meant to offer very sage advice, because you were correct in a lot of what you had to say-the content was there, the delivery might have been a little rough at times..

Kimmy will be there, of course. Those two still argue like crazy, but let anyone else try and get in the
middle of their argument, watch out! They really are the epitome of sisterly love..they both know that is
all you wanted from them-was their sisterly love and they regret the times they were too busy or not
willing to bend to meet you half way. But, sometimes Shanny, you have to admit-you were a little hard
on them. It doesn't matter now, does it? We can't forgive and forget, we can only remember and hold dear
the many loving memories you shared with us.

It's 3:35 in the a.m; some days I still don't sleep for missing you, but it isn't as intensely painful as it was, I
can cope better now. I am familiar with this reality-knowing you are not going to be here when I wake up,
that I can't call you, hug you or kiss you...yes, it hurts but acceptance is closer.

The power of prayer and faith generated that acceptance to date..I could not have made it this far on my own. I know that. People from all over, some I do not know are praying, God hears all of our prayers for each other. Because I pray for other people in pain, too. I have to step outside myself in order to breathe
in the new day. God gives us an opportunity every day to make the most of His world, I can't do that
all wrapped up in only my grief. I have to strip it away as much as I can and breathe deeply of His
blessings. Then, share what I have learned and come to know as His truth-His love never fails.

Anyway, just a reminder-today 2:00 pm, come be with us, we'll be expecting you..
because I know the power of prayer and faith as a mother grieves.