Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Open Your Heart and Your Mind

As I write this I am sure our balloons made it all the way to heaven! I can see my Shanny reading the messages on each and every one lovingly, and gathering them in a bunch like flowers to enjoy her birthday bouquet of wishes!

Call it what you will, but I know Shanny is in Heaven and I will see her again. I know God's promise of eternity and I know His love is everlasting. That is all I need to know for now. It is that promise that opened my heart and my mind to healing after Shanny passed. It didn't happen at first. I am sure many people prayed for me to receive peace and serenity. I was numb for weeks, maybe more than a month before I really felt anything. I don't remember too much between February and the middle of March, really. I slept a lot, I think. I tried to relive every day before she died, but the day she passed always came back. I couldn't get far enough away, even in the deepest of my dreams, I couldn't go far enough away, or run fast enough or forget long enough. Sooner or later, the truth hit me, Shanny wasn't going to be alive whenever I woke up.

Then, one day that changed when I experienced a Spiritual awakening. I was overcome with a sensation of peace and the knowledge that Shanny was with God in Heaven and she was alright. I have not cried for her since that day. I cry for her children, for our family, for her husband, and because I miss holding her, but I know she is in the hands of her Almighty Father and is at peace. I can't explain what happened that day nor do I try to, but it was real and I know what I felt, I was washed with the Spirit of Peace and I will never doubt that blessing. God heard the prayers of His faithful and not because I was deserving, but out of His love and mercy, gave me rest.

That lift has given me the energy and the drive to reach out to others because God is so good. We can heal from a broken heart. With God's help, and each other 's love to lean on and get us through, our hearts that weep from the loss of our loved ones, do not cry in silence. Tears are shed but not in vain, our stories are shared and strength is gathered from one another. Our tears water the garden of hope for a brighter day and perhaps a rainbow tomorrow. When tomorrow seemed impossible to reach, and for some who did not seem to have a reason, to look for tomorrow, God's promise of eternity gives us reason enough.

Prayer in every form is heard by a loving Father. Words in every language translate in love. God's promise of eternal life is there for each and everyone of us, through His Son, Jesus. Bow your head, open your heart and mind to Jesus, share with Him your innermost thoughts and desires. If you are hurting, ask for healing-He hears and He listens. Let Him hold you and fill you with Spiritual Peace that only He can provide.

If this blog is finding you grieving I am sorry. That pain is a journey that takes longer than we imagine at times. And so, I will continue to pray for open hearts and open minds so that you might know the power of prayer and faith as a mother grieves.