Sunday, October 21, 2012

What My Tears are Saying

Some days I think I speak in tears. It is a language of the heart. When words just cannot express what the heart is feeling, my tears begin to speak.
Sometimes, they form words of love by seeing Shanny clearly in a dream. Her smile, her hair, so close I could reach out and hug her, almost.
Sometimes, tears wash away the guilt of yesterday and bring about a clean and fresh start for today. A chance to do better. To reflect on my mistakes, but not live there. To learn from them, but not dwell on them.
Tears can refresh the spirit and renew the soul. They can spell-redemption. They can bring peace to a wounded heart.
Tears often spell words that need to be spoken but get caught somewhere between the brain and the heart. They don't find their way to your mouth. Those words that could heal another's hurt are often held hostage by our own fears.
Small words, the 'If Onlys' of our life, cost us so much time and energy. The translation of our tears sometimes speaks so much louder, when if we would just step back and let the words flow, as easily as the tears-the misunderstandings and the 'What Ifs' would cease to exist.
Tears can cleanse, but they do contain salt, so they can also burn. We have to be gentle with them, use caution, and share them lovingly, like a salve or a balm for healing. We don't know what another person is struggling with day to day-we can't always read their tears.
Some choose to hide their tears. Some don't know how to share. They may want to, but can't. For many, I think tears speak volumes. We need to be good listeners. Sometimes, it isn't advice one needs, it's just someone to listen.
Tears are another form of communication. I am blessed because I know God catches my tears and reads each one. He knows my heart, my soul and my tears.
And so, I will continue to pray because I know the power of prayer and faith as a mother grieves.