Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Take A Deep Breath

Slowly-breathe in deeply, relax and blow it out. Repeat this 10 times and that should do the trick! Obviously, the person on this video has never grieved the loss of a daughter. NOTHING does the trick! The only way I move forward some days is prayer and faith. I know I am not alone. Many of you have shared your stories with me and I know we support each other in prayer and being there to listen and share when we are called on for one another. I can't tell you how much that helps some days, knowing you understand my pain. You don't minimize my loss. 

Time doesn't always heal a wound quickly, and for some, it may never fully heal. Some of us may learn how to cope, how to live again knowing it will never be the same, but we acknowledge the missing and the beauty they brought to our life. Time does not diminish nor erase their existence, their life nor their role in this world. They can never be replaced-even though some may try. 

Their words, their poetry, their beliefs will be carried in the hearts of their loved ones-planted firmly by the love they have known. And each of us has experienced a different loss. Whether it was the loss of a relative, friend, or co-worker-don't minimize the pain. We can't imagine the relationship or the bond.

 I am still learning  all that my Shanny taught me every day. Only now, I am ready to learn the lessons. It was too easy when she was here. There was always-tomorrow. Being stubborn does no one any good. So, if it really doesn't matter-let it go. Don't hold out because being right doesn't really change anything in the end. You're still missing them, and your tears are no comfort.

We have all heard someone tell us to take a deep breath, move forward, get over it, or move on. However, well-meaning that person may be-I still wanted to plant my fist in their face. In a loving way, of course. I know they mean well, but they have no idea what I am feeling. I have exhausted myself on long walks, cried myself to sleep, seen a counselor, talked with my friends, and kissed her face off pictures. The truth is, some days, not even prayer can bring peace. Those days, God breathes for me.

There is no time clock for grief. There is no recipe for healing. And there is nothing that says a friend grieves for a shorter period of time than a family member, or a co-worker. No one has the answers in this world. The only answer is faith. Faith is knowing God will heal. Not having to ask when. Just being satisfied knowing He will.

So, I will continue to pray, because I know the power of prayer and faith as a mother grieves.