Monday, April 29, 2013
What Do You Say To That?
Some days are just not good days-we all have them, let's face it. Whether we are grieving or not, some days just are not going to go our way. So, when the proverbial other shoe falls-and someone says: What are you so bent out of shape about? What do you say to that? Really, Do you unload or let it pass?
How about the wise guy at work who gets all their copying done bright and early so when you go to make your copies, there is never any paper in the machine. And of course, when it comes time to changing the toner cartridge, they are never anywhere in sight! Then one day as you are walking into the office, they greet you with-I noticed you making copies yesterday, could you remember to refill the paper when you're done? What do you say to that?
And of course, your well-meaning neighbor who sets their garbage cans in the alley; in front of your garage door, so as not to block the recycling bin-and then suggests you park in front of the house..what do you say to that?
We can't forget our spouse, who suggests we might feel better if we dropped a few pounds, as he adjusts the buckle on his belt to accommodate his ample beer belly, what do we say to that? In his defense, he said it lovingly and with a smile..
And what about your best friend, who always has the best advice but can't seem to get their own life together? Do you stop sharing, do you call her on it? Do you let it slide, after all she is your best friend-what do you say to that?
The most callous of all are those that do not understand-I remember losing a pet cat and sniffling a little at work the next day. One co-worker had the audacity to say to me, really? It was just a cat-come on now. What do you say to that?
There will always be people who cannot face their own fears, those are the people that will pass judgment on us that are grieving. I am in year two of my Hope walk, I frequently run into people who unknowingly comment on the death of loved ones. It gives me a great opportunity to educate people on sensitivity and the appropriate way to handle a grieving co-worker. I am always open to speaking to groups, churches, places of work, employers who want to educate their employees on how to handle such a situation, I will gladly work with anyone who wants to learn about grief and doesn't understand it. I believe empathy needs to be taught in the workplace, so when we return to work, we are embraced and not ostracized, or shut out.
I am available to speak at any function, so please feel free to re-post this blog, pass it to your employer, your church, children's school, meeting- anywhere you feel someone would benefit..
I know this is a serious topic, there is a bright side, though. People can learn. My prayer is that they do not learn through experience, what do you say to that?
And I'll keep praying, because I know the power of prayer and faith as a mother grieves!
Just leave a comment if you want me to contact you about speaking with your group or function and I will contact you with dates of availability.