Saturday, September 14, 2013

Healing Begins with Just One

                                       Just one...

I often wondered what it would feel like to be out of shock and able to navigate the world at large. After 2-10-11, my world has been defined as pre-date and post-date happenings. I can remember most things before that date pretty clearly, and a lot of what followed that date fell into a foggy abyss. I am just beginning the descent into the fog to reclaim my lost memories of other family events and precious moments spent with grandchildren and my two wonderful daughters and my husband.

Coming face-to-face with grief is exhausting. It takes everything I have some days to carry me though, but I know I am getting one day closer to healing. Shannon does not want me to live in the world of missing her physical existence. By doing that, I am losing sight of all of the beauty she shared with the world when she was here. Instead, she would like for me to share her love of nature and God's earth and all things green. Her love for her children and family. 

Like the pictures on the walls that the kids draw-each one depicts a story, a feeling of family. They warm my heart, because they remember. And yet, they are stepping forward into tomorrow with bright smiles and silly giggles and funny dances. The way, Shanny would want them to dance through today and greet a new day. She is with them. They know it; even if they are not aware of it, in their hearts-they know it.

So, my lesson for today is to learn from the kids. I am going to paint a new picture, remembering her love, her smile and her absolute beauty and hang it on my wall for all the world to see. I will carry her in my heart to have with me at all times. I will march confidently into tomorrow, knowing she is with me, and that God's love is already there to meet me.

I will pack each day full of joy and love and top it off with a hug for good measure! I will honor her memory by planting a seed of hope in someone else's day. Her smile will radiate through me and greet people as I tackle the day and the opportunities it presents me to spread my own special brand of joy. Then, I will reflect on the day and ask two important questions-did I honor God today? Did I help just one person feel better?  If I can smile,as I lay my head down to rest, all is right at the end of another day.