Monday, February 20, 2012

lol..

Today is Presidents' Day..a noted holiday for a lot of luckies. That's another one, I just made it up..
'lol'-lot of luckies! I am not very texting savvy, so the lingo escaped me. Truly, I didn't know what 'lol' meant. I honestly thought it meant -lots of love.- The first time I saw it on a text, I thought how sweet it was that my daughter would be so thoughtful and send me her love in a text. She 'laughed out loud' when she heard that one!

But in the midst of my grief, I find respite in the moments of pure joy God sends me. One of my favorite pictures of Christ is Him with His head back and laughing. It makes me feel His closeness and the joy He has for each one of us.  He knows my delights in the birds and the animals He has graced our world with. When a beautiful red Cardinal sits perched outside my window stark against the winter sky..I feel like God placed him there just for me that day at that moment to lighten my heart.

When the man I wave to every morning on the way to work, searches me out and waves first-I know that good morning gesture is just for me, another gift in my day. It feels good to see him smile and look my way, it just feels good!

When our dog, all 95 loving pounds of her, rests her head in my lap or looks in my eyes with her sweet innocent face-that's love.

When one of my grand kids hugs me and says, "I love you Grandma." "Will you come over and spend the night soon?" That is one of the greatest gifts I'll ever receive.

Sometimes, out of nowhere, David just brings home a surprise from the store. Whether it's my favorite candy or a little bouquet of flowers, or a new flavor of yogurt...it doesn't matter. I know he was thinking of me, and that makes my heart happy.

I printed out an email from Shanny and keep it on my wall at work..it reads.."Love you, Mom." That email brings comfort on some days when I am just needing to hear her voice or feel her closeness.

You can have your lol meanings, I like mine..I made up another one. What about:
lover of life, that was my Shanny-a lover of life. She saw the good in everyone and everything. Her cup was always half full, because she would be sharing it daily. She would reach beyond herself
and say, that exercise was good. What's next? She knew the importance of making the most of each day. She is my sunshine on a cloudy day..

We all need to know that laughter is okay in the midst of  our grief. God sends us all moments of lol (lots of love)..to take on our journey.

How about you? What are your 'lol' moments that get you through the day? Have you made up your own meaning for 'lol?' Share it, please..

You have no idea how much it means to have people share their thoughts, ideas, and prayers at this time. This journey, necessary as it is, can be filled with such deep saddening pain on any given day that the comments you might take a moment to leave on a page, could be what breaks that cycle of grief-if only for a moment or two. So, if you are wondering..would it really matter if I left a comment? The answer is YES! it matters..it's like sharing a conversation with a friend or getting a much needed hug. It's just a 'Google' away..Really, there's a drop down box when you post a comment-select Google..I don't understand it either, I thought you just typed a message and left it but apparently, you have to choose HOW to leave it? According to my daughter-Mom, just choose Google, lol!!