Tuesday, March 13, 2012

In My Dreams

Sunday was a beautiful day of reflection with a group of ladies at Vianney High School. It was a day of fellowship, renewal of spirit, and communion with the Lord. It just doesn't get any better than that. I met some incredible women and spent time with God one-on-One. It was a day to remember. It gave me strength and courage and a smile! Did you ever hear a priest or minister speak and you felt like what they were saying was meant just for you? That is what I felt like all day. It was as if God said to him, there is this lady who will be there...she lost her daughter last year and she is suffering, console her.
His words lifted me up.

Monday came and the day dawned..what a beautiful day greeted me. God sure does know how to bless us, doesn't He? The birds were singing, the air was clean and fresh. The sun was warm on my face. I felt a sense of renewal. When I got to work all was good. Nothing was going to dampen my spirit today. And I think it made my day that much more productive. I prayed throughout the day like I always do for people that need it as the day goes on, someone is ill, or someones child needs a prayer, a neighbor, coworker, friend, pet or family member. We had chocolate cake so that deserved a prayer of thanks!
Prayer is always part of my day and it keeps me going. It's amazing how it touches so many facets of my day.

That evening I exercised with my daughter, so there was a prayer said. Believe me..I prayed. Then, I relaxed with my hubby and again prayed for the days events. Finally, before I closed my eyes, I prayed for peaceful sleep and thanked the Lord for my blessings. What a beautiful night's sleep I had in store.
Sometime during the night, my Angel came to me in my dreams. There she was, huggable, kissable, and in my heart I could feel her presence. We were with her children visiting. We were on the couch and I couldn't stop touching her. It was as if I knew she wasn't going to be with me forever, and yet she seemed to be oblivious to our situation. I was jabbering away and talking about anything and everything. She was actually becoming a little annoyed with me. Of course, she was busy entertaining and keeping an eye on the kids. They didn't seem to be aware of our time restraints either.

It seemed to be getting dark outside and she was getting tired. The kids were quieting down and I was just not ready to go. I wanted to talk some more. About anything. I just wanted to hear her voice, feel her touch, and be close to her.  Shanny had this way of running her hands through her hair and pulling it back as if it were bothering her when she was getting frustrated. I think she was almost at that point. I finally asked her what was wrong and she said,
"Mom, I'm tired." I looked at her with a shocked kind of surprised look, and said...I just want to make the most of our time, to talk and catch up..
She looked at me like I had two heads and said," Can't you use the telephone?"
I was so surprised by her answer, I woke straight up!
Now, I am thinking..the Angelograph didn't really work out so well, could the Angelophone be any better?

Dreams are a way of connecting with our loved ones. I'm sure my missing Shanny so much brought us closer in my dream. She was so very real, I wanted to hold her forever and not wake up. The funny thing was she had no idea what I was experiencing in the dream. It was like part of me was still in reality, knowing she wasn't here, and part of me wanted to believe she was. When I woke up, I felt her love all around me. I went to work happy and shared my dream with a co worker. I had wanted to dream of Shanny. Tina told me she had Shanny come to her in a dream and it comforted her a great deal. The sadness is, once you are awake, you have to deal with reality. The pain will return, the emptiness and the gaping hole where she belongs is present again. But you have a piece of her you didn't have yesterday. At least, it feels like you do, even if it is only in my dreams.

Thank you, Lord, for the gift of dreams. They bring us a lightness of heart that we might be seeking. Thank you, Lord, for the gift of sleep. It gives our bodies and our minds  much needed rest from the days labor and thought.
Thank you, Lord, for Your very presence in my life. You are the reason for my lightness of heart, my ability to sleep and desire to rest at the end of our day. Let my first waking thought be of You and my last thought of each day be for Your mercy and Your grace. In Your Precious Son's Most Holy Name, I will Pray, again and if it be Your will..again.