Sunday, March 18, 2012
My 8th Little Blessing
Mom, could you take me to the hospital..just to get checked out?
What mother would refuse their daughter that request?
Once we arrived there was a whirlwind of activity and Tina was staying; unlike when I was in labor years ago. In today's world if you are dilated to a 3, they keep you. It was a long day for Tina and Jacob, but once the decision was made-we knew we were having a baby..a St. Patty's Day baby!
Last year came and went and honestly, I know I celebrated Olivia's first birthday, but I remember little of it. I was in the protective cacoon God wraps us in when we first lose a loved one. I was basically numb and in shock. Physically, I may have been present but I was emotionally not available. Even after I returned to work in April, I wasn't really functioning at full capacity, but I was trying.
This year, I was very present for LuLu's birthday. I was invited to spend the day and I pretty much did. I shopped for Olivia and decided on the prettiest little dress and sweater. Shanny would have approved. Funny, but it seems as though when I shop she is with me..guiding me, taking me to the right clothes, picking out what she would have if she was here. I feel her closeness and I find it very comforting.
Even though I was sad, Shanny was urging me to go on and enjoy the day. She was almost pushing me. Once I got to Tina's, it went a little better. Tina had a rough morning. She wasn't in much better spirits than I was and if it hadn't been for LuLu treating us to a floor show of her playing her guitar and being silly..and being one sweet birthday girl, I don't know if we would have snapped out of it.
The smile on her just melts my heart. Jake and Tina went shopping and Jake's mom came over and we watched Lu together for a while. Micki took some pictures and we played and talked and Lu entertained us both with her dancing and playful nature. Between chasing the dog around the house and playing peek-a-boo in her tunnel, we had a grand time.
This is how God works. He knows who we need, when we need them and how to heal our brokenness..even if it is just for a while. He gives us the gift of joy. Whether it is through our grandchildren or a friend, or a church service, or a Al-Anon meeting, He has the answer to our needs. We only need to ask.
And so it was, Olivia on her 2nd Birthday gave ME a Gift! She gave me the gift of pure, unconditional, love. I hope some day I can thank Jesus in person for letting me come to this party!
For now, I will pray.
Thank you Jesus-for my family and my friends who love me where I am, happy or sad. Thank you for Your constant love and mercy. Thank You for Your many Gifts, Lord..especially My 8th Little Blessing!