Tuesday, April 3, 2012

My Easter Angel

This week gives me a lot of food for thought. A lot of reason to pray. A lot of time to think. A lot of tears to shed. And most of all, a chance to praise God for His Son, for sharing My Easter Angel, Shanny with me for 34 years and for the power of prayer and faith..

I am seeing so much this week, God is opening my eyes and my heart to others in a way that I have not experienced for a while. Spring is in the air and flowers are blooming in mass, colors are vibrant and my heart still aches for my child, who lays in the earth this day. She will not rise this Sunday. He will-and that gives me great Hope. This week prepares us for the the most horrible of deaths and the most beautiful of resurrections. He will Rise. But first He had to die.

I remember the week before Shannon's death. I tried to recall in detail each day leading up to it. Did I call her each day? Did I speak words of love and encouragement to her? Did I assure her she would be alright? Did I give enough? Did I do enough? I know I did not answer all her questions. I know I did not stay with her the night before her death. I know I did not wipe all her tears because I am not God and I could not change what was to be.

That is really what Faith is all about, isn't it? Relying on God for everything. Knowing that He has all the answers, and I don't need to have them, because I trust in Him.

When I think of what Mary, Jesus' Mother must have suffered, it brings me to my knees. I weep for her pain. Seeing your son, beaten, tormented and hung on a cross and left to die. And that took three long horrendous hours. What questions went through her mind? How did she contain her anger, her mother's love and the pain of seeing her Son die on a cross had to torment her beyond whatever a human could take. How did she do it? FAITH. And constant PRAYER.

Her example gives me strength and courage. This Holy Week is about what leads up to Jesus' death and new life! The new life that My Shanny is now part of in Heaven. God is awesome!

I miss my Easter Angel, but know she is sharing this Easter with Our Father. I hope He likes Peeps!