Thursday, May 3, 2012

How Far Is It To Heaven?

Lord,
How far is it to Heaven?  I just want to know so when I dream I make sure I can fly far enough in my rocket or on my carpet to see my daughter..I miss her.

Lord, I only need one wish, not three..please.

Why is 'if' such a little word with such a HUGE meaning?

I know you are listening, so if I close my eyes and picture my baby, and then open my eyes...will she
be here? Just sayin'..

Since you are God, will you  make it Feb. 9, 2011 again? We'll call it a 'do-over.'

I know they have visiting hours in hospitals, can you make a schedule for visiting hours in heaven?

You know the song ,"Stairway to Heaven?"  Can you tell me where those steps are located?

Do you know who this Jack is with the magic beans? I need to grow one really tall beanstalk..

I miss my daughter so very much some days, I make up silly sayings like these to keep me from
totally losing it. It helps keep the gloom and doom from getting overwhelming. I get sad and it doesn't always come out sad to people I love. It comes out grouchy or angry sometimes. I might be snappy to a salesperson, or not too friendly to the grocery cart guy..usually I am a very caring individual, but when I get into a sad place I have a difficult time recognizing it for what it is. I don't smile as much and I don't feel 'right' with the world around me. I have learned to do whatever works for me to get me through those times. Today, I have chosen to write silly sayings. Another day, I might sing a made up song. Sometimes I journal my thoughts, and some days I have a good ole' fashion cry.

There are days when reminiscing feels wonderful. I can see her smile and feel her presence. I am at peace with God's will. Other days not so much. No matter what I do or how hard I try, I am in tears and nothing that day is going to make me feel better. On those days, the only thing I can do is pray.
Through the pain and the tears and even the anger, God listens to my words of love, of anger and confusion. He hears my pleas for peace and understanding. He knows my heart's desire is to do His will but the struggle is human-I miss my child, His child, too. He truly understands. So, He consoles
me and comforts me. He listens with His heart to all my fears, my thoughts and all my questions.
Even, the silliest of questions..
Father, how far is it to Heaven?
And He smiles..