Thursday, August 2, 2012

I Remember

Every day I think of you I remember your smile.
I remember how you crinkled your nose and touched your lip sometimes with your index finger when you giggled about my lips..
I remember how you said,"Are you crazy?", after I said something you found extra silly..
I remember how you used to call me to talk and you would carry on a conversation with the kids most of the time. You always said at least you got to hear my voice. That makes me smile now.
I remember how I used to dread wearing something I bought to show you, because you were pretty tough on me. I am better for it now, though. I am more careful as I dress. When I am shopping I often catch myself
saying-that is so Shanny!
I remember you snuggling on your couch with your blanket, I still touch it sometimes and feel for the satin edge.
I remember how you could wear your hair any way you chose and it pretty much looked good-that hasn't changed for me, I still struggle with my hair, but I smile when I think of you..
I remember your flowers and Spring planting and your yard-David and I are working on our yard. We have a little Shanny garden..
I remember the shoes, lots and lots of shoes..David's not so happy about this one, I have lots and lots of shoes, too..enough said.
I remember the garage sales-David keeps trying to get me to just give the stuff away or call someone to haul
it away, but the tax deduction..I smile..
I remember our 'short' shopping errands..and 6 hours later we'd get home, tired and hungry and arms filled
with necessary packages..right.
I remember the books we shared, I loved how we shared our thoughts on them, how we might read the same book, but have two different ideas-it was wonderful time spent with a wonderful daughter..
I remember eating food I had never tried before at your house-and liking it! Grilled foods, cooked foods,
raw foods, asparagus, leeks, hummus..yum! I am so much healthier now..
I remember seeing you with your kids, snuggling and giggling and loving them..and wishing I had been a better mom.
I remember seeing you and Jas all dressed up for a Justice Ball when I was sitting, and thinking-they are
like magic, what a beautiful couple..You two made marriage look wonderful!
I remember the struggles with each child and your relationship and yet, you knew the outcome would be
good-you always said so. You had such great faith.
I remember you did so much in a day for so many, and you never talked about it..you never made your day sound overloaded or crammed, you just did. You loved life.
You have been one of the three greatest blessings in my life and the memories I hold dear and close to my heart. You live there now, nestled there, where I can hold you and hug you and remember..
because I know the power of prayer and faith as a mother grieves.