Monday, December 24, 2012

'Twas the Night Before Christmas

Dear Shanny,
Here it is almost Christmas again. The second year missing your sweet smile. I wish I could say time has healed my heart, but you know, it doesn't hurt any less today than it did a year and ten months ago. I have learned to cope a little better is all. God has blessed me with many opportunities to grow my faith. Prayer has become a close friend of mine and I have reached out to others more often.

Our crazy world is in such need of love, Shanny, but only the love that God can provide. I pray for the kids and their families in Connecticut. Those parents just had their hearts torn out. I know their pain and so does God, Our Father-He gave His Son. He weeps for them as well. When will we learn?

How can I help others when some days I have only questions and no answers? I believe so strongly and yet some days I know my faith is tested when I see evil in the world. I want God to take control again. Free will hasn't worked out so well, please come back and heal us, Father.

Shanny, what is Heaven like? I imagine this time of year to be absolutely spectacular! Angels and colors bursting and music filling the air. When I hear the choir in church, I often think of the Angels singing for the Lord and you being there for the grand celebration of Jesus' birth. Being with Grammy and Grandpa and the rest of our precious family and lots of friends. Oh, how wonderful it must be, Shanny.

Part of me wants you here with me-the selfish part, that misses you. The part that sees your babies who miss mommy and Jas who seems lonely. That human part that does not fully understand. And you know what? That is alright. God knows my heart, He understands. I pray for peace and understanding, but only of God's will. My will is unimportant. My understanding is unimportant really. I don't need to understand, I only need to believe that God knows best. And I do.

Twas the night before Christmas and blessings abound. Some things just don't change and this I have found,
when faith in Our Lord, is my guiding Light-the Miracle of Christmas shall Brighten the Night!

I love you, Shanny, Merry Christmas, Angel!

With all the Hugs and Kisses Heaven Can Hold!
xoxoxo
Mom
P.S.
I will always pray, because I know the power of prayer and faith...