Sunday, January 13, 2013

Don't Be Afraid

It will be two years in a few short weeks that Shanny will have left this world. But that does not mean she has ceased to 'be.' Shanny has just moved on to another part of our journey. And, finally-I am not afraid. I hope after you read, or we talk, you won't be afraid either.

Depending on where you are in your hope journey, I have given my journey a new title. One that represents promise and light, instead of sadness and pain. Because I believe you can find so much more on your journey   if you allow yourself the opportunity to seek comfort and peace.

Don't be afraid to believe. That is so important. After all, what have you got, if you don't have hope? I believe God lifted my Shanny up into Heaven where she continues her life, for lack of a better word. If I am blessed, I will see her again. I believe in Angels and I believe there are gifted people who are sent to us on our journey to help us heal. We must be open to the healing and in the right place on our journey. There is no right and wrong way to grieve, and there is not one program to follow or steps to take or anyone who can make the journey for you-it belongs to you, make it your own. I am sharing mine in the hopes of making it less fearful for some and less painful for others. Sometimes, knowing what might lie ahead can ease the anxiety, as long as we don't confuse that with putting our expectations on someone else's journey.

For me, prayer or conversations with God help me get over my fear. And once I truly realized my little girl was in Heaven-death held no fear for me any more. then, my life became more about building a relationship with God and opening myself  up to growth and evolving. I need to understand only enough to do what is pleasing to God. I try to keep it simple and real. I ask for direction and to do what is within God's will. I know it sounds hokey, but you know what-life is so not complicated.

My heart is open to God's word, I am hungry for the Holy Spirit and I strongly believe in Angels. I have been brought up Catholic. I have dabbled in other organized faiths, I have practiced several over the years, I have been baptized three times in my life, and I had a real fear of hell and sin and damnation. And then, I asked Jesus, who knows my heart what He thought, what mattered to Him, and we now have a very personal relationship. I go to church, I don't receive sacraments out of respect for the Catholic church, I believe God gives us grace when we need it in all kinds of forms and measures. I believe people we meet on our journey of faith and hope and grief and life are part of His plan for us. We are His by design, and our life is His by design, and when we ask for guidance in faith, He leads us. God is not going to confuse or trick us, not my God. He is a God of love and salvation, not of confusion and pain.

When you go to Him in faith and hand Him your heart, He will care for you and grow you in His ways. That is a promise-eternal life will be yours. But you must be willing to know yourself and face your wrongs. We are human, we make mistakes. As long as we truly seek change and try to make amends, God forgives. It is a process of learning to love ourselves so that we can truly love others. I believe that is our whole purpose on this earth. Fear keeps us from doing that a lot. Fear appears as anger, jealousy, pride, hatred, prejudice, and many other false faces-but they are all fear. Ask God to remove your fear, and open your heart. You will begin your journey of hope and you will find joy along the way.

In the meantime, pray-because we all know the power of prayer and faith as a mother grieves.