Sunday, April 21, 2013

Spring Has Sprung

Have you noticed? It smells fresher outside. The rain is washing away some of the winter blahs! I see it, too. I see buds on the trees. New sprouts are beginning to pop out of the ground and flowers are getting blooms. I love seeing the earth come back to life after a cold, dark winter. The birds are coming back and building nests and the grass is growing a little bit every day. Pretty soon I will hear the hum of of mowers and dogs barking as we get out and work in the garden and neighbors visit over the fences.

The park will take on life as we go for walks and the playgrounds get busy. Laughter will fill the air and music from the ice cream truck is never too far away. It seems like it hasn't been that long since last year, and some days, it feels like it has been a lifetime ago.

And I miss Shanny all the more. It just seems like she should be here to do these Mommy things with us. She should be here to push Gus on the swings and to see Eva this year at Circus camp and J-Bug play ball..she should be here to go on vacation with Jas and the kids, and shop with her sisters and run errands with me. She should be here-that's all, she should be here.

But Spring has Sprung, and life is good and the birds are singing..and it is still true. Life is good, God is good-I am blessed. And yes, I still miss Shanny. One does not discount the other. It's okay to recognize the beauty God gives me every day, to appreciate the blessings of Spring, the colors, the scents, the life He paints the world with and it's okay to be sad some days.

God understands it all. As long as I am open to His touch and His love, His grace is endless and His mercy  and patience is there for me when I need it. My tears are not meaningless and my pain is not overlooked. He heals and He soothes. What is, is-I cannot change that but I can change how I look at it. If I choose not to see the beauty of Spring, will it still be Spring? Of course. If I ask God to help me awaken to the Springtime once again, will He? Of course. Might I still have days of sorrow? Yes. Then, what will change? I will also have days filled with the beauty of Spring..because Spring has Sprung..and I don't want to miss it anymore.

So, in my sadness I will have thoughts of Springtime flowers and breathtaking blooms and blossoming trees with lovely sweet smelling scents that fill the air to help me smile through my tears. Because God cares so much that He paints our world with love every Spring. Even in grief, He gives us moments of joy.

And I will always choose to pray, because I know the power of prayer and faith as a mother grieves.