Wednesday, May 15, 2013

In the Middle of the Storm

I must admit some days are like finding yourself in the middle of a storm, not exactly enjoying the moment but getting caught up in it, just the same. After all, there is beauty in the storm-its strength and power and every aspect of rain and thunder, even lightening provides us with an intriguing light show.

That is how I find myself in my Hope journey. I am beginning to look for the sunny days with hope, and sit quietly and let the storm rage, if it must. I find myself engulfed in emotion some mornings and especially when I lay awake at night. But, my faith lets me know after the storm will come a calm peace, if I choose to let it in.

God hears my cries in the middle of the storm, He knows the gut wrenching pain I feel at the memory of the moment I knew I lost my baby. He caught me as I screamed that day, and continues to hold me as the storm sometimes rages in me still to this day.

There is no strength greater than God's, and I know when I am looking for some light in my darkness, He is there to calm the storm. He shields me from roughest seas, though they exist mostly in my sorrows. I rely on His watchful eye, to keep me forever safe and steadfast. It would be so easy some days, to close my eyes and shut out the world, but that is not allowing my faith to lead me.

When the winds are stirring and my heart is hurting, I try to breathe deeply and remain calm. I think back on how Jesus must have felt when He allowed Himself to realize His purpose on this earth. Knowing He was to die for our sins surely must have created a storm within. A storm only a Father could calm. And when He cried out to His Father-only to find Himself left with the knowledge that He must die in order for us to live-that is powerful.

I hold onto the truth that no matter what storm rages-He can calm the waters in my soul. He can dry my tears and give me hope. He can soothe my fears and give me respite from my storms. Grief is such a storm. It raises its head and howls in the night. It drains me of my energy and holds me hostage in the depths of my darkest hours.

And a new day dawns-He commands it. The storm passes and I regain my balance in the world. The sun rises and warms my heart, allowing the light to raise my spirits and to wipe away the fears of the grief that had claimed me. At least-for a time, I know the calmness I am meant to know, in the middle of my storm.

And I will continue to pray-always, because I know the power of prayer and faith as a mother grieves.

Blessings-please feel free to leave a comment or a request in the comment section, or reach me at my email rglohse@gmail.com. I am always here to listen, pray and talk, if you need me.