Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Tips for Those Days

OK- Everybody has them, so let's put our heads together and share our secrets for how we cope when we are having one of "Those Days."

You know the kind of day I am referring to right? Sadness seems to be squishing out of every pore of my body. I can't blink back the tears fast enough and I am not sure why I am crying so much. Yes, I am grieving but most days I have a handle on it, I must be having one of THOSE DAYS.

The triggers are everywhere today, in the songs I hear, the smells that are surrounding me, someone says something that reminds me of my loved one..before you know it, I am lost in a world of hurt, and can't find my way out. I have got to get it together. Isn't that what my boss said? More stress-ever try pulling yourself out of a situation when you had no idea how you got there? Boss or no boss-have a heart, there is no time frame on grief. Believe me, we don't wake up one day and say, today, I want to be miserably sad and miss my loved one so much that I will forget how to breathe. I will not be able to focus and I will be hell bent on missing them so much my heart will break all over again.

So, share with us-what do you do when you are having one of those days? Does a bubble bath and a good book work for you?
How about a road trip with friends?
Somehow, when I journal, I feel like I am categorizing my feelings, I don't know, it just feels weird to me. How about you?

Holidays, anniversary dates, any dates that hold a special meaning for us can often trigger these moments or days. How awesome would it be if we could find a way to remember the happy memories, the silly, make you laugh out loud, had a ball, makes me smile, even in my dreams kind of memories- and we created our own memory book or "heart and mind movie" to replay over and over?

Prayer is always powerful for me. Simple conversation with God about anything and everything. He listens and He cares. I may not always understand, but I always trust and have faith-and that is what gets me through the worst of the worst.

Touch is very healing, too. I do a lot of loving on my Sierra and Harley those days. Pets are a wonderful way to reconnect when I feel like I might be splintering off from the world. They are totally unconditional lovers who snuggle and protect and remind me that I, too am lovable. They also remind me of their needs with a wag and a lick, it's a little more gentle and on those days, much appreciated.

I believe in Angels, so I look for signs. If I can concentrate on something bright and cheerful, that can redirect my thoughts from the darkness of being deluged with questions that I cannot answer, or anger that is misplaced, or frustration that has not been dealt with and keeps festering, I will look for something positive and try to focus on whatever "light" I can find in the day.

Every one deals with these days differently. It really helps when we share ideas to cope or try when we are having an especially hard day. So, it would be a great help to others if you left your idea in the comment section to share. Having one of THOSE DAYS? Hope we can share some tips that might help ease the pain and make it better..

And I will continue to pray, because I know the power of prayer and faith as a mother grieves.