Monday, October 14, 2013
Moments Create Memories
Moments captured, create memories-agreed?
I look back on the moments that stay safely tucked within my heart, and understand at the time, I did not realize those moments would become precious memories. That is how life is every day.
A moment here, a thought there, something profoundly stated tucked in the middle all come together to create a memory. We are gifted with thousands of them every day, and we have to pick and choose which ones we keep and which we discard. It is like going through negatives in our memory box. Our minds cannot hold every precious moment we take in even in one day's time, so we must learn to make them all count.
I did not learn that until I lost my daughter from this life. I know I will see her again, but I am limited with the number of moments I have to remember from her childhood and young life, as well as her young adult life. Shanny on the other hand, made every moment matter. Both Jason and Shannon would take an ordinary moment with the kids and make it a magical memory captured on camera. There are countless pictures of their beautiful family-being just that-a beautiful family. Not all pretty and posed, everyday life, pajama mornings, late night couch snuggling, sno-cone stained t-shirt smiles, it's all there in living color. Their family made life amazing!
How I love that Jason shares their many photos and home movies with me and the family. He knows how I crave to see her, and hear her voice. His strength and courage continue to amaze me, as a husband and a father. As a son (in-law) I wouldn't be any prouder if he were my own. He is truly an awesome man taking on the role of parent on so many levels. He is such a blessing! I respect and admire him more than he will ever know, Shannon knew that would happen. In one of our talks, she told me-one day, you will know the Jason I know, and you will love him the way I do, he's awesome, Mom.
And here we are today, that moment with her created a memory I tucked away. A mother-daughter talk. We had lots of those. Sometimes, we just giggled. Sometimes, we actually talked. Shanny always persisted when it came to spending time together. No matter how busy I claimed to be, she would say-you're never too busy for us, Mom.
Sometimes, she made me feel guilty, other times, I couldn't stop hugging her. Never, did I stop loving her-even in the craziest of times, we muddled through-because that's what people do that love each other. You get past it, you hug and you move on.
Shannon always seemed to be teaching me not to take for granted the Moments or the Memories. She always wanted Family Time. It was so very important to her. And, I must admit, some days she wore me out. Along with her intensity came a great deal of energy and running: errands, shopping, in circles..with Shannon you never knew where you might be running!!
And always love of her children. I am not saying she was a picture perfect Mom. She had her moments when she spoke in anger and said mean things. What I admired was her reflection and ability to own her mistakes and step up and apologize to each one individually for her wrong doing. I don't think any one could fault her for loving her kids as much as she did. She and Jason made a great team! Together they built a home of love and warmth and encouragement. The belief was to build self-esteem and respect not to beat them into submission with force or fear. I loved the way they parented and Jason still does. His love always shows first.
When I close my eyes and think of all the moments in my life, I realize how much God has truly blessed me. My family, my friends, my career, my love for nature-most importantly, my Faith, God has strengthened my Faith when I called out to Him in distress, He answered me.
This journey, this biography and autobiography of myself and my Shanny holds such precious moments that I will forever cherish, and the memories-I am joyful because God is allowing me the strength to keep on making new ones with my beautiful family and friends of this world, until I am called to see my Shanny again and catch up on old Memories!