As I read the headlines, I sit in disbelief. Such political unrest, chaos in our own government and murder in our streets. My heart is so heavy, I begin to pray and then weep. There are so many who do not have God in their lives-any God. No matter what you call Him, to many people He or She does not exist. Where is their hope?
Hear me out-what if God (your God, my God-for the sake of saving argument, let's call Him Our God), created all of us differently, for a reason. It takes so many threads to weave a blanket, and so many drops to fill an ocean-wouldn't you agree, that it would take many different peoples to complete a world?
And along with different people, God gave us different languages, cultures, abilities and gifts. He gave us our own personalities to develop, minds to fill and educate, smiles to bring joy to one another. God even created as many ways for people to find Him.We boxed them up and called them religions. So, if God in all His wisdom-created all these tools for us to use to find Him in our daily walk on earth, why have we twisted ourselves into knots fighting over who is better, who should rule what lands, who's God is bigger and stronger? I do not not believe God intended us to use His precious gifts to wage war on one another, He created each of us in His likeness, to honor Him and to share in His world and then the next for all eternity. Who are we to judge His people, His paths to find Him-pure paths, not our versions, or His languages and God given gifts?
I believe we are all God's people, He is patient and loving, but I do not think His immense tolerance should ever be mistaken for weakness. One day, He will come again to reclaim what is His, we do not know if He will come as Jew or Gentile, White or Black, Rich or Poor, but He will come. Shouldn't we be getting along by then? Does it really matter what color, or race? We are all God's people-and I believe His one everlasting commandment will always be to Love One Another.
Blessings!
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Saturday, October 5, 2013
Wednesday, October 2, 2013
The Children Teach
It is always amazing to me when I listen to children how much I learn. Their innocence and purity provide the best in spiritual fervor. During our PSR class, I was asked to read the Gospel and enact the story of Lazarus and the rich man. We gathered around our feast table and visited with friends, and one by one we spoke of what we were eating at our feast: mac n cheese, hamburgers, pizza, cotton candy, nerds, french fries and it was a rowdy feast to be sure! We were drinking sweet tea and milk and soda with crazy straws and in came Lazarus.
The children became Lazarus in an instant. Huddled in a ball, begging for help from weariness and hunger. Pain wracking his weakened body, but the rich man knew him not. All at once, I had fourteen very small rich men dying at my feet, but not entering the gates of Heaven. They were begging for a simple drink of water, from guess who? They all knew the answer-Lazarus, they shouted! But, where was Lazarus? In Heaven, they said, as if the answer could be no easier than that. Abraham, answered the rich man's request-it is too late to be a friend to Lazarus now. You had your chance.
The kiddos readily adapted a bible story to today's world and began to give ideas of how they could share their worldly goods with others. Their toys, their clothes, food for the food drive, even their time. They seemed to understand the concept of being a good friend and neighbor now, equates to Heaven later.
Life explained by the children always makes more sense to me. Why do we grown-ups always cloud it up with hatred, bigotry and racism. Judging others? That is God's job. Our job is to do what the bible says-end of story. It's just that simple. Listen, as the children teach.
Blessings!
The children became Lazarus in an instant. Huddled in a ball, begging for help from weariness and hunger. Pain wracking his weakened body, but the rich man knew him not. All at once, I had fourteen very small rich men dying at my feet, but not entering the gates of Heaven. They were begging for a simple drink of water, from guess who? They all knew the answer-Lazarus, they shouted! But, where was Lazarus? In Heaven, they said, as if the answer could be no easier than that. Abraham, answered the rich man's request-it is too late to be a friend to Lazarus now. You had your chance.
The kiddos readily adapted a bible story to today's world and began to give ideas of how they could share their worldly goods with others. Their toys, their clothes, food for the food drive, even their time. They seemed to understand the concept of being a good friend and neighbor now, equates to Heaven later.
Life explained by the children always makes more sense to me. Why do we grown-ups always cloud it up with hatred, bigotry and racism. Judging others? That is God's job. Our job is to do what the bible says-end of story. It's just that simple. Listen, as the children teach.
Blessings!
Saturday, September 28, 2013
Blessings!
Who would think going to the dentist would be such a blessing? I usually associate the dentist with, well, you know, yucky stuff. Today, I was reminded about how much my daughter loved me again. Let me share the story..
I have always had some issues with going to dentists. It goes way back to my childhood and probably not having the best of dental care when I was child. I would put up such a fuss, I think the parents just figured it could wait another year. Before you know it lots of years went by and I began to suffer in my late teens. Having tried your neighborhood dentist, and that not working out too well; I had to search for a doctor who would administer "sleeping gas."
One such dentist surfaced in an old building on Grand Ave. and I made my way there with cash in hand. That is the only way he agreed to see me. I know this all sounds like some plot from a bad Grade B movie, but I assure you it was real. I couldn't go alone because after the visit, I was often too woozy to walk much less drive. I became ill quite often from the gas, and would still be in pain a few days later, but I had my dentistry done the only way I could feel comfortable-out cold.
Fast forward a few years, my dentist passed away, the building closed down and I was at a loss once again. By this time I knew I had to have dental care so I asked some family and friends for referrals. To make a long story short, three dentists later, being escorted out of a dental office in South County, I knew I had real issues. Laughing gas really isn't so funny when you become combative and knock a dentist in the chest as soon as he goes to examine your mouth. No, I was facing therapy and I needed real help for this.
Several years went by I married and had a little girl. Somehow, she managed to go to the dentist and never show fear. She actually liked getting her teeth cleaned. As she grew into a young lady, her smile began to light up my life in more ways than one. She became a real trooper and inspiration for me. When she became a mom, she asked me to go with her to the dentist for her son's first visit. I went along determined not to show fear or weakness. She took J-Bug in the office and he climbed up i the chair and smiled just as big as you please. The dentist made his way in the room and gently spoke with J-Bug and encouraged him to look at the equipment and ask questions. Once Jason had asked his questions and found his comfort zone, he relaxed and the visit went without a hitch.
It's amazing what a little human kindness can do to put you at ease in a frightening situation. This dentist was amazing to me. He clearly knew how to handle even the youngest of patients. When Shanny and I left the office, she asked me if she could help me find someone who would be patient with me. It was one of the sweetest gestures I have known.
When I was a youngster I had encountered a rather aggressive dentist who very seldom gave Novocaine an opportunity to take effect before he plundered on with drilling and sweating profusely. His own bad breath did little to comfort me. At one point, I actually passed out in the dentist chair and slid to the floor. My dad was called in from the waiting room and he took me home, embarrassed and not sure why I had passed out in the first place. I still remember spitting blood and drilled teeth for days. I remember the horrible smell in that office. That dentist did little in the way of helping me.
My daughter and I spoke at length about my fears. She assured me that most dentists did not treat their patients with such disrespect and lack of empathy. She began her search for a dental angel to help me through my pain.
Within a month or so, I was on my way to a dentist she had spoken with and explained my story. She accompanied me to his office and stood in the doorway while he assessed the damage to my teeth and gums.He knew of a specialist who could help me and worked with traumatized patients. He never once made light of my situation. He simply wanted to help. Shannon stayed with me the entire visit and took me home. Even though there was no invasive work done that day, she could tell it had taken a toll on me just to sit in the chair and allow him to touch my mouth and look inside.
Soon, I was introduced to my dentist that I have been seeing for the past almost 10 years. He and his staff are a godsend to me. I no longer dread seeing the dentist because I know he takes care of me and his staff are all wonderful. The first time I was in to see him, Shanny came with me and stood by the chair while he got x-rays and praised me for being so brave. She truly was understanding and loving and wanted my health more than anything.
After the discussion and dealings of what we could do, how we could save most of my teeth and even fix the gap that had bothered me since I was a small child, my relationship grew with my new dental family. So much more than that though, Shannon gave me the gift of patience and love when I really needed it. After my first really long visit with the dentist, a lot of work had been done, and I was very weak and swollen. I had no idea it was going to be so difficult for the first week or so. Shannon had me come stay at her house the first few days. When I felt strong enough, I went home, sporting a whole new smile!
So, blessings come in all different ways. Some as simple as a sweet memory I had tucked away. God is so good. I am beginning to see My Shanny in the smiles of others, even my own!
I have always had some issues with going to dentists. It goes way back to my childhood and probably not having the best of dental care when I was child. I would put up such a fuss, I think the parents just figured it could wait another year. Before you know it lots of years went by and I began to suffer in my late teens. Having tried your neighborhood dentist, and that not working out too well; I had to search for a doctor who would administer "sleeping gas."
One such dentist surfaced in an old building on Grand Ave. and I made my way there with cash in hand. That is the only way he agreed to see me. I know this all sounds like some plot from a bad Grade B movie, but I assure you it was real. I couldn't go alone because after the visit, I was often too woozy to walk much less drive. I became ill quite often from the gas, and would still be in pain a few days later, but I had my dentistry done the only way I could feel comfortable-out cold.
Fast forward a few years, my dentist passed away, the building closed down and I was at a loss once again. By this time I knew I had to have dental care so I asked some family and friends for referrals. To make a long story short, three dentists later, being escorted out of a dental office in South County, I knew I had real issues. Laughing gas really isn't so funny when you become combative and knock a dentist in the chest as soon as he goes to examine your mouth. No, I was facing therapy and I needed real help for this.
Several years went by I married and had a little girl. Somehow, she managed to go to the dentist and never show fear. She actually liked getting her teeth cleaned. As she grew into a young lady, her smile began to light up my life in more ways than one. She became a real trooper and inspiration for me. When she became a mom, she asked me to go with her to the dentist for her son's first visit. I went along determined not to show fear or weakness. She took J-Bug in the office and he climbed up i the chair and smiled just as big as you please. The dentist made his way in the room and gently spoke with J-Bug and encouraged him to look at the equipment and ask questions. Once Jason had asked his questions and found his comfort zone, he relaxed and the visit went without a hitch.
It's amazing what a little human kindness can do to put you at ease in a frightening situation. This dentist was amazing to me. He clearly knew how to handle even the youngest of patients. When Shanny and I left the office, she asked me if she could help me find someone who would be patient with me. It was one of the sweetest gestures I have known.
When I was a youngster I had encountered a rather aggressive dentist who very seldom gave Novocaine an opportunity to take effect before he plundered on with drilling and sweating profusely. His own bad breath did little to comfort me. At one point, I actually passed out in the dentist chair and slid to the floor. My dad was called in from the waiting room and he took me home, embarrassed and not sure why I had passed out in the first place. I still remember spitting blood and drilled teeth for days. I remember the horrible smell in that office. That dentist did little in the way of helping me.
My daughter and I spoke at length about my fears. She assured me that most dentists did not treat their patients with such disrespect and lack of empathy. She began her search for a dental angel to help me through my pain.
Within a month or so, I was on my way to a dentist she had spoken with and explained my story. She accompanied me to his office and stood in the doorway while he assessed the damage to my teeth and gums.He knew of a specialist who could help me and worked with traumatized patients. He never once made light of my situation. He simply wanted to help. Shannon stayed with me the entire visit and took me home. Even though there was no invasive work done that day, she could tell it had taken a toll on me just to sit in the chair and allow him to touch my mouth and look inside.
Soon, I was introduced to my dentist that I have been seeing for the past almost 10 years. He and his staff are a godsend to me. I no longer dread seeing the dentist because I know he takes care of me and his staff are all wonderful. The first time I was in to see him, Shanny came with me and stood by the chair while he got x-rays and praised me for being so brave. She truly was understanding and loving and wanted my health more than anything.
After the discussion and dealings of what we could do, how we could save most of my teeth and even fix the gap that had bothered me since I was a small child, my relationship grew with my new dental family. So much more than that though, Shannon gave me the gift of patience and love when I really needed it. After my first really long visit with the dentist, a lot of work had been done, and I was very weak and swollen. I had no idea it was going to be so difficult for the first week or so. Shannon had me come stay at her house the first few days. When I felt strong enough, I went home, sporting a whole new smile!
So, blessings come in all different ways. Some as simple as a sweet memory I had tucked away. God is so good. I am beginning to see My Shanny in the smiles of others, even my own!
Tuesday, September 24, 2013
How To Raise Your Vibration Workshop Coming to St. Louis??...
Hello everybody, it's Michelle Moceri here.
I have blogged about this workshop before but wanted to discuss it again to see if there is any interest in having one in St. Louis this coming year. What is great about this workshop is it is tailored to the needs of the group. Coming to this workshop is an opportunity for you to release old patterns that keep coming up in your life, moving forward from being stuck in the past, and removing guilt and past hurts. These are only a few topics we will discuss and work through. If you are experiencing any of those that I just described, then I highly recommend this opportunity.
Paige Hall-Ferraro who is the founder of this workshop, and myself would come out to St. Louis to help in assisting you to move forward, so you can finally start living the life that you deserve. We are all connected here in the universe, your story is my story, when you hurt we all hurt, when you decide to rise up and live in your truth, then that decision helps those around you. We are part of this collective consciousness that affects all of us, so when WE start to awaken to our truth of why we are here, then we can be that beacon of light for others to raise their energy and consciousness as well.
Myself and Paige would come out for a few days to guide you on this journey, and meet you where you are at on your spiritual path. Everyone is going at their own pace, and we fully respect that, but it's time to get moving and to start to take back your joy again and live fully in your authentic truth. We would help you understand how to master your own energy and frequency, help you awaken your consciousness and stop living in the past, and we will talk about soul contracts we agreed to and how to clear them. Paige and I will also talk about the importance of high vibrational eating and how that effects your journey of healing, and your personal frequency for growth. While we are at the workshop, and a loved one from the other side wants to pass along a message, then Paige or I will be happy to give to you. Often our loved ones that have crossed over want to see us heal and move forward, so we would be happy to give you that information to assist in your healing.
Please visit our websites to get a feel of who we are and if you feel drawn to experience this workshop with us and Rose. I feel Rose and I met for a very good reason and this is part of it. Rose is so inspired to help those around her that are suffering too, and she thinks this workshop would be a great start for many of you and herself as well. Please let Rose or myself know if this workshop is something that would benefit you, and if you would like to attend. Don't hesitate to pass this along if you know someone that would be interested.
I lived in O' Fallon and Chesterfield for 11 years and wouldn't mind going back for a visit of this highest good. I send you all love and healing as you contemplate this decision to attend this workshop. I'll leave my information to get a hold of me if you have any concerns or questions.
Love and Light,
Michelle
#314-346-4977
www.soulhealingandspiritconnection.com
michelle1216@comcast.net
Paige Hall-Ferraro
www.paigehallferraro.com
I have blogged about this workshop before but wanted to discuss it again to see if there is any interest in having one in St. Louis this coming year. What is great about this workshop is it is tailored to the needs of the group. Coming to this workshop is an opportunity for you to release old patterns that keep coming up in your life, moving forward from being stuck in the past, and removing guilt and past hurts. These are only a few topics we will discuss and work through. If you are experiencing any of those that I just described, then I highly recommend this opportunity.
Paige Hall-Ferraro who is the founder of this workshop, and myself would come out to St. Louis to help in assisting you to move forward, so you can finally start living the life that you deserve. We are all connected here in the universe, your story is my story, when you hurt we all hurt, when you decide to rise up and live in your truth, then that decision helps those around you. We are part of this collective consciousness that affects all of us, so when WE start to awaken to our truth of why we are here, then we can be that beacon of light for others to raise their energy and consciousness as well.
Myself and Paige would come out for a few days to guide you on this journey, and meet you where you are at on your spiritual path. Everyone is going at their own pace, and we fully respect that, but it's time to get moving and to start to take back your joy again and live fully in your authentic truth. We would help you understand how to master your own energy and frequency, help you awaken your consciousness and stop living in the past, and we will talk about soul contracts we agreed to and how to clear them. Paige and I will also talk about the importance of high vibrational eating and how that effects your journey of healing, and your personal frequency for growth. While we are at the workshop, and a loved one from the other side wants to pass along a message, then Paige or I will be happy to give to you. Often our loved ones that have crossed over want to see us heal and move forward, so we would be happy to give you that information to assist in your healing.
Please visit our websites to get a feel of who we are and if you feel drawn to experience this workshop with us and Rose. I feel Rose and I met for a very good reason and this is part of it. Rose is so inspired to help those around her that are suffering too, and she thinks this workshop would be a great start for many of you and herself as well. Please let Rose or myself know if this workshop is something that would benefit you, and if you would like to attend. Don't hesitate to pass this along if you know someone that would be interested.
I lived in O' Fallon and Chesterfield for 11 years and wouldn't mind going back for a visit of this highest good. I send you all love and healing as you contemplate this decision to attend this workshop. I'll leave my information to get a hold of me if you have any concerns or questions.
Love and Light,
Michelle
#314-346-4977
www.soulhealingandspiritconnection.com
michelle1216@comcast.net
Paige Hall-Ferraro
www.paigehallferraro.com
Monday, September 23, 2013
Seeing Her in Their Smiles
What a gorgeous day to wake up and hear the birds and feel the cool morning air! My first thought was how blessed I am. I am learning that grief cannot rob me of my precious memories and it will not steal from me my purest moments of joy. It is mine to choose how I spend this day, and I choose-Happy!
Does that choice mean I stop grieving? Am I forgetting my beloved daughter? Am I disrespecting her memory in any way? The answer to all of those questions is, NO! But, I am making an effort to live life and remember the goodness and beauty she brought to this world, and I want to honor her memory by random acts of kindness throughout the day. Small acts that I know would make her smile. Simple acts that can impact and have an effect on someone else's day.
I am learning to see my daughter in the smiles of others. I treasure those moments when I can see her in her children. Her silliness, her gestures, even her dance moves! Each one of them carries her with them in their own special way and it touches my heart. I hope they will always carry her with them in their hearts as they grow up.
But lately I have prayed for God to show me how to come out of my slump. I am struggling with writing and actually was feeling a little more down than I wanted to admit. I was anxious and not getting enough sleep and sadness would come on me at strange times. I knew the answer would come from prayer.
As always, patience is not a virtue I am gifted with, I am a slow learner. God is sure patient with me though. He gently reassures me Shannon is happy and at peace. She is busy and helping others in her heavenly duties. There will come a day when I will be reunited with her again, and He is as good as His word. He asked me to check in with the Holy Spirit for guidance and to trust in His will.
So, again I went into thoughtful prayer, meditation and deep conversation with my Holy Spirit. I know some of you are unfamiliar with my beliefs and some of you may not agree with my beliefs, but I can only write about what I know to be true. There is a Holy Spirit that surrounds me and fills me and loves me and guides me in my most troubled and anguished times. I sometimes forget this Spirit is there all the time, not only in troubles times, because it seems I call on Him most then, when I am in pain and need healing.
As always, He drew me close and filled me with a peace that can only come from Heaven. I poured out my heart and asked for advice as to how to make a transition from selfish grief, by that term-I mean grief that serves no purpose, not even to myself. I go back to that kind of grief when I am feeling sorry for myself for one reason or another, and it may not really have anything to do with grieving. I am getting better at recognizing it though and do not want to remain a party to it. I can define healthy grief-it allows me to grow from an experience and move into another place. In the new place, I can look back and I can look forward-I am not stuck.
I was in that place and needed to move from it again. This time, the Spirit suggested something different for me. I have asked to find some positive ways to share my day with others who may not have the opportunities I have been given. Simple gestures of good will-a wave, a smile, even a courteous nod can light up a person's day for them!
Guess what began to happen? Church members would receive my smile and their face would light up as they smiled in return. It was beautiful as each illuminating face, young and old held a moment for me that spoke to my heart of Shannon. As I gazed to the status of Mary I noticed the sunlight was dancing off the stained glass window and the wall came alive in color. The movement danced, and of course, I smiled. Funny thing, was some people didn't realize why I was smiling and they smiled in return which gave me more reason to smile and the blessings continued. We had a young choir sing for us and their sweet pure voices reached our ears and as I looked around, smiles and nods of pleasure were all around me-it was beautiful!
In the evening, I was blessed to share time with my family celebrating a birthday of a much loved sister. As we get older, we cherish our time together. Our hugs and our kisses, our singing silly songs and telling stories from our youth, mean more than I can put into words. The smiles, I can't describe how their smiles impact my heart. I feel so safe and loved when I am with them, and I know I am loved when I am not with them. Family, brings a genuine smile to my heart.
I went about my day, stopping at the store and sharing a smile and a handshake and always getting one in return and realizing, what a simple gesture can do to change our day. If these small random little acts of kindness bring happiness to our hearts, why not do it every day? So, that is my goal.
To do random acts of kindness, and see her in their smiles! Blessings for a truly happy day.
Does that choice mean I stop grieving? Am I forgetting my beloved daughter? Am I disrespecting her memory in any way? The answer to all of those questions is, NO! But, I am making an effort to live life and remember the goodness and beauty she brought to this world, and I want to honor her memory by random acts of kindness throughout the day. Small acts that I know would make her smile. Simple acts that can impact and have an effect on someone else's day.
I am learning to see my daughter in the smiles of others. I treasure those moments when I can see her in her children. Her silliness, her gestures, even her dance moves! Each one of them carries her with them in their own special way and it touches my heart. I hope they will always carry her with them in their hearts as they grow up.
But lately I have prayed for God to show me how to come out of my slump. I am struggling with writing and actually was feeling a little more down than I wanted to admit. I was anxious and not getting enough sleep and sadness would come on me at strange times. I knew the answer would come from prayer.
As always, patience is not a virtue I am gifted with, I am a slow learner. God is sure patient with me though. He gently reassures me Shannon is happy and at peace. She is busy and helping others in her heavenly duties. There will come a day when I will be reunited with her again, and He is as good as His word. He asked me to check in with the Holy Spirit for guidance and to trust in His will.
So, again I went into thoughtful prayer, meditation and deep conversation with my Holy Spirit. I know some of you are unfamiliar with my beliefs and some of you may not agree with my beliefs, but I can only write about what I know to be true. There is a Holy Spirit that surrounds me and fills me and loves me and guides me in my most troubled and anguished times. I sometimes forget this Spirit is there all the time, not only in troubles times, because it seems I call on Him most then, when I am in pain and need healing.
As always, He drew me close and filled me with a peace that can only come from Heaven. I poured out my heart and asked for advice as to how to make a transition from selfish grief, by that term-I mean grief that serves no purpose, not even to myself. I go back to that kind of grief when I am feeling sorry for myself for one reason or another, and it may not really have anything to do with grieving. I am getting better at recognizing it though and do not want to remain a party to it. I can define healthy grief-it allows me to grow from an experience and move into another place. In the new place, I can look back and I can look forward-I am not stuck.
I was in that place and needed to move from it again. This time, the Spirit suggested something different for me. I have asked to find some positive ways to share my day with others who may not have the opportunities I have been given. Simple gestures of good will-a wave, a smile, even a courteous nod can light up a person's day for them!
Guess what began to happen? Church members would receive my smile and their face would light up as they smiled in return. It was beautiful as each illuminating face, young and old held a moment for me that spoke to my heart of Shannon. As I gazed to the status of Mary I noticed the sunlight was dancing off the stained glass window and the wall came alive in color. The movement danced, and of course, I smiled. Funny thing, was some people didn't realize why I was smiling and they smiled in return which gave me more reason to smile and the blessings continued. We had a young choir sing for us and their sweet pure voices reached our ears and as I looked around, smiles and nods of pleasure were all around me-it was beautiful!
In the evening, I was blessed to share time with my family celebrating a birthday of a much loved sister. As we get older, we cherish our time together. Our hugs and our kisses, our singing silly songs and telling stories from our youth, mean more than I can put into words. The smiles, I can't describe how their smiles impact my heart. I feel so safe and loved when I am with them, and I know I am loved when I am not with them. Family, brings a genuine smile to my heart.
I went about my day, stopping at the store and sharing a smile and a handshake and always getting one in return and realizing, what a simple gesture can do to change our day. If these small random little acts of kindness bring happiness to our hearts, why not do it every day? So, that is my goal.
To do random acts of kindness, and see her in their smiles! Blessings for a truly happy day.
Saturday, September 14, 2013
Healing Begins with Just One
Just one...
I often wondered what it would feel like to be out of shock and able to navigate the world at large. After 2-10-11, my world has been defined as pre-date and post-date happenings. I can remember most things before that date pretty clearly, and a lot of what followed that date fell into a foggy abyss. I am just beginning the descent into the fog to reclaim my lost memories of other family events and precious moments spent with grandchildren and my two wonderful daughters and my husband.
Coming face-to-face with grief is exhausting. It takes everything I have some days to carry me though, but I know I am getting one day closer to healing. Shannon does not want me to live in the world of missing her physical existence. By doing that, I am losing sight of all of the beauty she shared with the world when she was here. Instead, she would like for me to share her love of nature and God's earth and all things green. Her love for her children and family.
Like the pictures on the walls that the kids draw-each one depicts a story, a feeling of family. They warm my heart, because they remember. And yet, they are stepping forward into tomorrow with bright smiles and silly giggles and funny dances. The way, Shanny would want them to dance through today and greet a new day. She is with them. They know it; even if they are not aware of it, in their hearts-they know it.
So, my lesson for today is to learn from the kids. I am going to paint a new picture, remembering her love, her smile and her absolute beauty and hang it on my wall for all the world to see. I will carry her in my heart to have with me at all times. I will march confidently into tomorrow, knowing she is with me, and that God's love is already there to meet me.
I will pack each day full of joy and love and top it off with a hug for good measure! I will honor her memory by planting a seed of hope in someone else's day. Her smile will radiate through me and greet people as I tackle the day and the opportunities it presents me to spread my own special brand of joy. Then, I will reflect on the day and ask two important questions-did I honor God today? Did I help just one person feel better? If I can smile,as I lay my head down to rest, all is right at the end of another day.
Blessings!
I will pack each day full of joy and love and top it off with a hug for good measure! I will honor her memory by planting a seed of hope in someone else's day. Her smile will radiate through me and greet people as I tackle the day and the opportunities it presents me to spread my own special brand of joy. Then, I will reflect on the day and ask two important questions-did I honor God today? Did I help just one person feel better? If I can smile,as I lay my head down to rest, all is right at the end of another day.
Blessings!
Monday, September 9, 2013
Letter to Heaven
Dear Loved One,
This might sound crazy to you, but no matter how many times I hear the words-they are in a better place, I still miss you. So, let's just get that straight. I am, personally never going to forget the way you smile, or laugh or smell. The simple way you walk across the room or the way, you lit up a room when you walked into it.
I know, you fulfilled your purpose here on earth, and I still need to find mine. I get all that, I am trying. Please, I am doing the very best I can, every day. This isn't a marathon or a race, and I am not trying to grieve in the fastest time allowed and break a new record. If I want to dance along the way, please allow me the dance floor to do it. I will bring my own music.
If I sound angry or frustrated, I apologize. Truth is, some days I cannot name all the emotions I run through in a day. Some bring my heart peace, others more pain and still others, I cannot put a definition on but I want to believe they are all a part in this healing process. I am not comfortable calling it a process, it seems like a lifetime ago, when my life was just a life, now it has become a process and a search for new paths and normal..
If I sound angry or frustrated, I apologize. Truth is, some days I cannot name all the emotions I run through in a day. Some bring my heart peace, others more pain and still others, I cannot put a definition on but I want to believe they are all a part in this healing process. I am not comfortable calling it a process, it seems like a lifetime ago, when my life was just a life, now it has become a process and a search for new paths and normal..
Some people mean well when they say things and others really do not cope well with not sharing the spotlight. Well, let me tell you, this is one spotlight you really don't want to share. If you need attention so badly, you have greater issues than grieving the loss of a loved one. This is a private journey, and sometimes it is extremely lonely. Some days it feels like the pain will never go away. The guilt of not having done all that could have been done when it should have been done sets in, and it drains you.
Grief and guilt often intermingle and confuse themselves with pain and anger. Sadness seems too difficult to define so anger becomes an easier path to take. There is almost comfort in some anger, blame and hurt are constant companions and often lead us down dark paths. They are not caring friends who have our best interest at heart though. They do not care if we grow and heal.
And so, I am getting lost in the real reason for this letter. I want to tell you how much I love you. How much I miss you and how I want to make you happy by doing what you would want me to do. I can promise you I will try. I don't know if I will get there today, or maybe not even tomorrow, but I will get there. My promise is as real as Heaven.
I know I will see you again. I know you are safe and happy in the arms of Jesus. I know you are at peace and feel nothing but love. All these things I know, but my heart-well, it still feels pain. It doesn't mean I am giving up, because I will never do that, just please be patient with me. And don't forget to send me an occasional sign. Birds, butterflies, coins, feathers, clouds.. I love those signs, they help me heal.
Love,
Me
P.S. When I blow kisses to Heaven..please know they always come with a hug!
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